I am a sucker for people who like me … “but who isn’t?” you ask … Silly me!
This morning when I checked my letter box I found a card waiting for me … it was to wish me on my birthday and had some fantastic gift vouchers. Yet it wasn’t the gift vouchers that got me. It was the content of the card which said how much the person cared about me. Walking back, it was reinforced – the “material” loses hands down when faced with the “emotional” !
It is not the people we like or dislike. It is how they make us feel – that is what we like or dislike! We all like to feel good about ourselves. And we love being with people who do just that – make us feel good about ourselves. It is not vanity – it is a basic human need – to belong and to be connected, i.e., to be loved and liked because that means we are needed and wanted – we matter and are important. Get the drift? See where this can lead you ….?
This is the most powerful tool we have when dealing with people. Deep down inside we know it – and yet we forget in our day to day dealings with each other.
Imagine using this in tough situations. Next time you meet a “difficult” person, take a moment and think “How can I make this person feel good?”; “What can I say or do so the person feels wanted?” Find and say those magic sentences and see the difficult person change – it will be like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.
Your really “tough to” handle person will become human – you’ll be surprised at what you find once the layer is lifted. I have met many a fantastic people who have gone on to becoming life long friends once I was able to lift the “difficult” mask off. And it was a simple technique – I found a way to make them feel good about themselves.
One word of caution – whatever you do – do it for the right reason. Do it because you care about people and not because this was the quickest way to get your outcomes …
Good Luck and visit my blog regularly so I know you care … I too need to feel good about myself 🙂