Being a woman in the modern world!
Chances are you are already a superhuman combining 4 roles – a mother, a wife, an executive and a homemaker!
Now you wonder why your stress levels are high and why you are low on energy and motivation? You feel you are good at nothing, unable to achieve much, continually being challenged by deadlines and demands from others? No time for yourself? Self worth going down?
So let’s unpack YOU in your 4 roles:
- Wife – This is a full time role looking after a partner who is probably immersed in a high profile career of his own. Add to this being a stylist + counsellor + girlfriend + event planner
- Mother – In this role you are probably a project manager + teacher + nurse + counsellor + chauffeur
- Homemaker – In this role you are probably an interior designer + construction manager + cleaner + cook + nutritionist + handy person + concierge
- Executive – This is the role that is probably where you spend 8 to 10 hours of your day! This is where you are a technician + manager + coach/counsellor + facilitator
That is at least 15 to 20 different roles. Now even if they are part time roles, how often are you having to switch from one to the other in a span of few minutes?
We have for long assumed that by multitasking we can get more done. In fact, aren’t we “the Women” great at multitasking? It comes naturally to us. However, research has shown that multitasking leads to not only higher stress but it also lowers our productivity!
Great! you say – I now have this information so big deal – how does it help me? I have to do what I have to do!
Yes agreed – you have to do what you have to do. But do you have to do it all by yourself? Can you apply the 80/20 rule, i.e., is 80% good enough or does it need to be 100%?
So let’s explore further:
- For each of your life’s roles, plot objectively what it really means. How many roles does that one relationship really hide?
- Now list each of those sub-roles. For each item on the list answer these questions:
- What will happen if I don’t do this? Can I get anyone else to help me (or can the task be outsourced?)
- What are my constraints? How can I minimise the impact of my constraints? For example, I had a client who cannot afford cleaners. She overcame her monetary constraint by paying her children to do the housework.
- What is in it for me? What is the gain I receive by doing the task myself? Can I achieve this gain by some other means? For example, I once had a client who insisted on doing everything herself. Her husband’s effort was not up to her standard! Through coaching support she realised her need for control. This awareness helped her let go and accept help.
- Now with the awareness you have developed through steps 1 and 2 above, which roles in your life will you choose to give less of yourself to? Which roles are you going to choose to accept help on? Is there anything you can let go off completely?
I wish you the very best in pealing back the layers of stress you have unknowingly buried yourself under. If I can help you in anyway, please do contact me on ruchi@successculture.com
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