Relationship is the way in which two or more people interact with each other. As soon as you meet someone, there is a relationship established. The question is what kind of a relationship is it? Is it a resourceful relationship or an unresourceful relationship? Are you in harmony? Or are you always at odds?
Before we examine external relationships, let’s look at the single most important relationship in this world – your relationship with yourself. Your relationship with yourself forms the blueprint of your relationship with the external world. Your perception of yourself will dictate how you behave with others. Confusing? Let me explain with an example.
I recently coached somebody who had just been promoted at work. She did not feel ready for the promotion and felt the company had made the wrong choice. To make matters worse, the team who had been her mates turned against her once she got promoted. Through successive coaching sessions she realised how her perception of herself was at odds with others’ perception of her. Her lack of confidence in herself created stress in her relationship with others – The fear of being found out made her defensive and aggressive. Through coaching she was able to acknowledge and value her strengths. Once she accepted her strengths, she started delivering in line with others expectation – she was now in harmony with her external environment. With awareness came acceptance and with acceptance came the strength. Her relationship with her team improved dramatically.
In the above example my client was the only one who was coached – we did not conduct any interventions with the team – simply corrected her perception about herself.
So what is the first step to building healthy relationships?
There is really just one step – fix the most important relationship in your life – your relationship with yourself. How do you perceive yourself? Are you in harmony with yourself? Do you seek external validation or are you secure in your knowledge of who you are? Most importantly are you aware of your own strengths? Do you show yourself respect by acknowledging your own strengths?
It is only when you have acknowledged your own strengths, will you be able to use them. What is the use of having a hundred dollar bill somewhere in your drawer if you are not aware of its existence? Once you become aware, you can take out the money and spend it. Till then it might as well have not existed.
To discuss further email me on ruchi@successculture.com